I lived at the top of the stairs, surrounded by space but it was normal. I was human and had access to the kind of galactic personal archive that anyone else would. Far at the edge of my galaxy floated some personal effects… a book, a man's ring, a plaid flanel shirt. I decided they were a waste of space so I sent them toward a black hole. But as soon as the hole caught them up, I realized I'd made a mistake. I dove into space and swam towards the black hole, struggling to stay out of its rip current. The personal effects were swallowed up and I fell back to my room at the top of the stairs.
My mistake: the personal effects were the patch to stave my addiction. Without them, I had to get to Bethesda like a gunshot victim needs the ER. I remembered a sign that said "zellieberraine" outside of a mall where there was a corner arcade (this links back to another dream I had). I searched google maps and found an area where there were several roads with that name. My mind was so swamped with the need that I don't know how I got there.
I arrived at a field behind a house and entered the living room populated by the pantheon or the cast of a TV series. I had no right to be there, I was not part of their world. And yet one of them leapt up, eyes sparkling. He hugged me, amazed, relieved. His companions watched, neutral. I backed away. Something was false, not right. I ran to the bathroom but all the toilets had been removed, leaving a mess of plumbing. He followed me in, protective, comforting. His friend–beautiful, short, raven-haired–told him to leave me alone. That this wasn't right, it was damaging for both of us. She wanted to protect him from me. She was Tifa, I was Aeris. She had so much more right to be here than me, she had been a major player in the series but I was a ghost from the side lines. He didn't know me and I didn't know him. At the same time, she and I were the same, innocent, pure, the virgin sacrifice. Although draw to us both, he wasn't aware of his capacity as the demon we were sacrified to. His concious intensions were honest even if his heritage wasn't.
I ran away, into the field at night. I hopped on a 4×4 and drove off. The 4×4 burned hot, embers lighting the sides like racing stripes. He zoomed after me in his own glowing 4×4. The chase became a race and then a dance, something primal that lasted until dawn. We ended at the edge of the field near a mail box. Tifa finally tracked us down. She stared at me like I was the responsible one, I was the one who should end the downward spiral. But I was soaring. He didn't realize his presense drugged me, he thought my responses were honest, and he didn't care what Tifa had to say.
Tifa protested that people who like bubble tea can't be around each other. (LOL I swear this is what she said!)
The man, a presense like a blanket warm from the dryer in winter, said, "Then we'll be the first to be in love and like bubble tea" and it was wrong.
It was too fast, too soon, too obviously a thing he said often to anyone but he seemed to think that his words had the same value as a long term relationship that progresses to that point. For him they did, for now.
Tifa glared.
'What was that bullshit?' he asked.
"She's in love with you" I said. He didn't seem to understand why that mattered. I knew I should leave but I couldn't.
Now there was a thick knife in my hand. I cut through my palm.
'Stop it! Don't you see what you're doing to yourself?" Tifa cried.
'I'm in control,' I said.
Then I woke up.
Dreams, Lightning Spliced, Marketing, On Writing | Madeline | 
September 9, 2010 10:45 pm | 
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