This is the post from Super Number One that I mentioned a couple of blogs ago. The podcast begins with their announcement of her passing, a song she wrote (that he sings) and a replay of her May interview about Lightning Spliced.
Check it out! The link for the mp3 podcast is on the bottom of the page!
I have also added a Posthumous Postings category on her links section as a quicker way to see the most recent dedication postings + her Lightning Sliced Press Release video. I'm sure more links will be added as time goes by!
Book sales are still rising, little by little!
Much love to all of the Zellie Fans! Thank you for all you continue to do for her Legacy!
Blazer arrived this morning (: He's going to need some time to adjust but he's doing well so far. He whimpered at the door on and off and hasn't been interested in any treats. I took him out for a walk around his territory and then later on, we went down the street and happened to meet up with Tucker, the other Bearded Collie of the neighborhood. They gave each other a good sniff over. We also ran into Bailey, the Golden Retriever, who was bringing over a welcome package (; Bailey's a frequent visitor so it was good to see him and Blazer happily checking each other out.
He's very different from our last dog, Maggie the Spaz. I know she missed us when we were gone, but I think she would stll tear off with toys and take treats from anyone! I'm really excited to begin training with him but I've got to wait for him to get more acclimated–kinda hard to reward him with a treat if he doesn't want one.
He's bonding pretty well so far. He follows me from room to room and spent some of the afternoon laying on my feet. He's also made himself at home on the couch and on the rug in my bathroom. He responds well to sit/stay though he's pretty sneaky and tries to test me. If I give him A Look, he'll get back to what he's supposed to be doing. He cuddles up to me when I groom him…..good thing because that coat requires a lot of attention!
He needed to go out pretty early this morning but was restless when we came back in so I let him out of my bedroom while I went back to sleep ;p then when I got up for real, he came back to my room and gave me some kisses (:
I've read about reiki but really had no clue what it was about. So I went to Sunshine Mansion to experience it for myself. My reiki master said that it's different for everyone–and often different each time. People feel warm, cold, tingly, and definitely relaxed. I got up on the table under a soft blankie but didn't need to disrobe like I do for massage.
She started at my head and slowly waved her hands over me, it felt like a breeze. She placed her hands close/on my neck and temples–cool, liquid, crystal water. The sensations were both physical and mental, visual even. She moved to my upper chest–warmth, depth, fire. Along my abdomen was moderate, solid, earth. When she slid her hands under my spine they were cool, smooth, silver–metal. My legs became wood, not stiff but solid and alive.
It was weirdly specific in these elemental images and I'm curious how different it would be next time and whether any subconscious notion of this technique caused the imagery. Also curious whether the images correspond to the same body parts/motions in Japanese culture or if it was just my brain's secret desire to save the planet from Duke Nukem.
It was very relaxing (: and more smooth a transition to come out of than massage. BUT I LOVE MASSAGE! I decided that I need to have a massage after every major doctor's appointment so that no matter what the news is, I have something awesome to look forward to. It's such a great way to be forgiving to my body. As much as I feel like it's betrayed me, letting in this evil, it's really doing the best it can for me. My body is fighting, it's letting me enjoy my life and I want to show my gratitude.
Over the next few days, Operation Therapy comes to a head. Will we be utterly taken by Blazer, the 3 year old? Or will we succumb to puppy love? Or will I track down that sweetheart lhasa apso I almost got a few years ago ;p He was SO SWEET! Very calm, he came up to my feet, sat down, patiently wagged his tail and looked up longingly until I picked him up. What a bundle of cuddle! The only reason I didn't get him was that I was living with a spazzy cat at the time and I was worried she would totally whip him.
I just got to chat with my awesome Amanda, of The Back Room fame. She just got back from chillin with celebrities in LA. In the future, you're going to see her name as the headlining screenwriter credit on a blockbuster and I'll be the hot femme fatale in the posters. Except more awesome and potentially psychotic. We are the future Tim Burton/Johnny Depp dream team!
I miss my Savannah buddies….especially my critique group. We are totally rock stars!
I had this dream several months ago but didn't post it–internet was down or something, I just found it in my notes file. It's fairly straightforward and seemed appropriate.
I dreamed I was April and Casey was a professional comedian. We lived in the same apartment complex but didn't know each other. I was doing research for Deep Within (apparently April is now a writer? ;) ) at the local hippy store.
He was there scoffing at the idols because he was an athiest. But two in particular drew his attention. They were
corn husk dolls inside of incense gratings. One was Rama and one was Sita. I felt something…alive…from them as
We walked back together and found a Hindu couple in the common room. Slate covered the floor and they had a statue
of Shiva on a windowsill near the top of the vaulted ceiling. A statue of Ganesha, broken tusk and all, sat in the
middle of the room. A little girl in a white dress leaned overr a balcony in the room. It overlooked a moat. Yes,
our apartment complex had a moat!
Casey set the dolls down next to Ganesha. Immediately, the little girl turned around. Her eyes went blank. She
screamed. A hole the size of a bindi opened on her forehead and light burst forth. The dolls stood up straight as
if ordered by the light. Casey rushed to the girl and bandaged the spot on her forehead. Her limbs jittered and
her eyes locked on the corn husk dolls.
Sita and Rama shook in their incense cages and with them, the room quaked too. The statue of Shiva toppled off the
window sill and crashed onto the slate floor. Evil spirits had posessed these effigies of the gods. Cacey grabbed
Rama and tore the cage apart. The corn husk doll burned his hands. He threw it to the ground so the pieces of the
cage shredded it. The room shivered. He did the same with Sita. The room stopped moving and so did the little
girl. She dropped to the floor.
Casey knelt by her side and cried over her. He felt guilty for bringing the evil spirits to her yet he was
thankful. The proof of supernatural evil gave him hope for supernatural good. Not that the good had bothered to
step in to help us.
Good news: 300 subscribers to the Lightning Spliced audio samples!
Bad news: I got a camera shoved down my throat and the doctors still don't know what's wrong with me. My treatment suggestion is 'wait and see if it goes away' -_- Not easy when I'm dropping weight and can't stand up long enough to make myself a meal. I literally will sit on the floor in front of the fridge and pull things together.
I wish I'd brought Bones and took pictures of him devouring the IV and/or the nurse who gave me the IV. Not that she did a bad job, I just HATE NEEDLES STICKING IN ME OMG D: Totally violating ):
Now I know that oxygen smells like plastic and the tube doesn't really go in my nose, just near it.
I'm still dazed. They said I'm legally under the influence which is kinda funny cause I don't drink so I'm *never* under the influence. I don't like how it feels. Helpless and irritable. But that may just be because I want to FEEL BETTER ALREADY. I feel like my life has stopped since getting sick. I can't DO anything. And there's no end in sight.
At least there were butterflies on the ceiling.
Buffy rocked the teen girl X bad boy vampire story. As much as it can be rocked anyway. I'm not big on vampires and after some real life experience I am so over bad boys. But it was funny. When I first heard about Twilight, I thought 'eh, just not my thing' so I haven't read it.
Until last night.
I dreamed that I read through Twilight in a single evening. The depth and layers of tension impressed me. I didn't like it any more than I thought I would, but I appreciated the writing.
Now that the book has become the instigator to mass hysteria and the writing career dreams are made of, I guess feel like I ought to analyze it to discover The Secrets.
I had a dream that destiny required me to produce the baby that would save the world from the evil witches. For some bizarre reason, I actually went along with that but I made sure the seers knew that I would not raise the child. After the child was born, the leader of evil witches jumped into the ocean. We knew she would survive so we waited for her to come out. I was going to grab her ankles and drown her. But the person that came up was an old grandfatherly man carrying the baby.
I got a bad feeling from him. I wanted to drown him. He circled around me, cooing at the baby but there was subtext beneath the noises. I asked to hold the baby just to get her out of his hands. I wanted to be glad he was taking care of her because I knew I couldn't. I'd seen the love my friend's daughter shares with her baby and I just don't have that in me to give and the baby deserves to be loved. He allowed me to hold her but then he bumped up against me so that I'd jerk the baby, or hit walls, or fall into the water so she'd cry. He took her back and whispered things about me to her.
I got pissed at the dishonesty and took her back. He pushed us into the water several times. Each time I saved the baby, she grew larger and larger until she was the size of a thirteen year old. She leaned against me as we dried off and despite the man's efforts to make it seem like I was trying to drown her, she said she respected me for saving her.
When I asked how old she was, she said 18. I thought that was sad. I never wanted to deal with the baby stuff, but once she was old enough to speak and reason like an adult I thought it would be nice to talk her through coming of age issues.
Then we went on a Foody Tour? haha.
I don't know you, never did. When I remember someone, I remember their dreams. Yet I want to track you down and shake you, demand to know why you haunt me. But I know it's not really you, I know it's coincidental that my subconcious latched onto an image of you and transformed you into a dream sign.
But what the hell does the sign mean?
Your real presence in my life was negative, cruel in that unintentional high school way. So when I dream of you, of connecting with you like the God and Goddess, two destined poles……..I wake and consider it a nightmare.
And the vestiges of my spirituality wait, even expect you to respond to this and say it's all true, always has been. That it's the real you I meet in dreams, the below-the-surface core. Despite how many times I've stabbed that concept in the gut, how many times I've thought it's heart stopped. Maybe I made the whole thing up, maybe this isn't a lie.
Line from Deep Within, likely going to be cut but it lives on because it happened. Maybe not on camera, but it happened.
As they danced a mad circle, their claws plunged into their own chests. They ripped out their own hearts and chanted to each other in a demented sing-song, “Her dream is dead, we bury the heart that never was.”
Got work tomorrow but I'm up. Wide awake. I know I need to try to sleep but Chris is off working in one of the 24/hr studios and I have a bad feeling I'll have nightmares tonight, that exhausting myself and staying up till after critique meeting tomorrow would be a better option.
I didn't sleep through the night until I was six years old. We moved constantly and as the weird shy new kid I had trouble making friends so I spent years feeling alone and helpless to change that. Not sure why I had to dream it when I was living it. Now, I like being in charge, in control, independent and I wish my success with that in reality would transfer into my dreams. But it doesn't, I only sleep well around people I care about and even then I sometimes have nightmares but at least it's easier to ground myself back to reality with someone there. Without that, I lose track of the line between reality and dream.
It's terrifying to walk into the face of that madness even though all it means is going to bed alone.
I wouldn't trade it though. If this is the price of being creative, I'll take it